Infatuation
by IFallForGoldenEyes
Summary: Elizabeth sinks down in depression, wating for Will. Thinking the only friend she has anymore is the sea, she goes for a swim. One that might just be her last...


_**Weeeeeell, this one's pretty angsty. So, BEWARE, much angst is ahead. That's the meaning of the rating. I came up with this and I never thought I'd write anything so angsty, but I guess you can't stop ideas just because they're not your style... Elizabeth narrates.**_

_**Discalimer: I don't own Elizabeth, the ocean, etc. But I do own her thoughts. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

_**Summary: **__**Elizabeth sinks down in depression, waiting for Will. Thinking the only friend she has anymore is the sea, she goes for a swim. One that just might be her last one...**_

_Infatuation_

I stared at the sea. Swaying back and forth with its subtle rhythm. The waves hypnotized me. I was drawn in by their multi-colored parade onto the shore. They crashed onto the shore sending flakes of white into the air just to fall back down again in hopelessness. I felt like one of those specks. I'd flown up into the peak of my life. I'd lived the dream life, met the man of my dreams, had countless adventures with pirates, become the pirate lord of Singapore and, later, the Pirate King. All for what? To be left on a bloody shore of a deserted island with a heart in a chest while I watched my husband sail away to ferry souls to utopia for the next ten years. This was my life. Will Turner had washed up into my life only to be washed back away almost 10 years later. All I had to live for now was the the fateful day he came back in 10 years. But how would I spend those 10 years? Crying and hoping they would fly by swiftly? No. I would not reduce myself to that.

But the sea. The sea was something to live for. I cocked my head as I thought about this. Yes, the sea. I would live for the sea and forget that bloody curse. I stood up and took one step towards it. _I wonder, does the curse prevent me from going into the sea? _I guess I would find out. I took one step towards those wonderful, beautiful waves. A lump formed in my neck and I stopped. But what if the curse did prevent me? I then swallowed the lump and my fear and took another two steps. I closed my eyes, forgetting the curse, forgetting Will's fate, pushing all of that to the back of my mind. There was just me and the loud splash of the sea. My foot touched the cold, refreshing water and I trembled once at the cold before sighing with relief. This was my infatuation. I then remembered something Jack had said:

_I'm sorry, lad, but my one and only love is the sea._

I chuckled at the thought. No, the _Pearl_ was his love. The sea was mine. I took another step, deeper into the ocean. Another sigh escaped my lips. All doubts and fears left my mind and peace replaced them. The tide grew stronger and it felt like the waves were almost pulling me in, enticing me to take one more step. I followed their command and planted my foot forward, the sand seeping between my toes and the waves splashing onto my feet. I opened my eyes and gazed at the wide expanse of ocean before me. It fascinated me. Once again, the tide was pulling me, and as the waves spalshed I could almost hear a soft "Deeper!" float through the air. I didn't know whether it was just my imagination or the sea was really talking to me, tempting me, to step farther into the ocean. But I obeyed.

I stepped forward, but all my doubts came back. Had Tia Dalma ever told me anything about being aloud to go into the sea? Warning bells were going off in my head and screaming at me to run back to the shore and forget about my intended swim. I shoved them back with force. My head emptied again and all I felt was ethereal peace. I closed my eyes, sighed and waded further in. I was now knee-deep.

_A ship isn't just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails. That's what a ship __needs__, but what a ship is... What the _Black Pearl _really is... Is freedom. _

This saying from Jack could also apply to the ocean.

_My _ocean.

What would a swift dip in the sea do anyway? It wasn't like I'd break the curse just because I touched salt water... This was the indifference that replaced the doubt in my mind. _I am the sea_. I thought as Davy had said not so long ago. But no one was the sea. Not Davy Jones. Not me. Not even Calypso herself. The sea was an embodiment of freedom. The sea _was_ freedom.

A seagull's shrill cry broke through the air and I fell over in fear. I gasped for air, not realizing that I was in the water. I had the rude awakening of unfeeling salt water rushing into my lungs instead of amiable, cool, gentle oxygen. I flailed my arms, scraping against the shallow shore. I finally reached the surface and choked on the remaining water in my lungs. I coughed hoarsely and incoherently cursed the bird who had made me fall, picking up a rock from the shallow sea floor and throwing it into the air in the direction of that devious gull. I swiped my wet, dripping locks out of my face and spit out the drop of water running down my face into my mouth.

I went to run toward the shore, realizing the danger I could put myself in. But, then, I swung around and looked over the sea to the horizon. The waves splashed against me and the sea pulled at my legs once again. I calmly reminded myself it was the bloody _gull_'s fault I had almost drowned and not mine. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. Turning back to the ever-stretching ocean, I began wading in again, this time faster.

When I was about waist-deep, I colsed my eyes and deply inhaled the intoxicating aroma of the sea. Ah, I had missed this... I waved my arms back and forth slowly in the water, memorizing it's feel, imprinting every detail of it on my brain. I opened my eyes and realized just how late it was. The sun was almost touching the sea at the horizon and it's gold rays shimmered across the choppy surface of the water. I loved this point of the day. But, one thing I did not love was the Carribean heat, even though it would cool in a few hours. The water that I had just been soaked with had quickly vanished, leaving me hot and dry. I swiftly splashed some of the water all over my face.

Oh, what a refreshment that was! I had so long missed the feel of water splashing over me. Yes, I would live for the sea. I determined that now. Forget Will, forget the curse, I'd live my ten years for the sea. As I marched deeper, I almost embraced the ocean as I would an old friend whom I had not seen for a while. The sea was an old friend. It could console me. And it always had. It would be there for me. And it always was. But now, as I stepped forward still, I felt it would ever be the the only one to do those things. The beat of Will's heart haunted me, but I shoved the thought away again. I went deeper still.

Now, if you think me crazy for thinking to live my ten years for the sea, think about what you would do. _My_ sea was the only thing to comfort me, to lead me away from utter despair. The sea and the thought of living for it itself was the only thing that kept me _from_ going insane. I could still hear the soft voice in the subtle splashes urging me "Deeper! Deeper!" so gently it was hard to resist. I was now neck deep.

All thought of Will and the curse came back into my mind and was accompanied by a burning anger at everything. At every single thing that had led to this fate. My eyes blazed. And for a second the thought finally came into my mind that the sea could not console me. Neither could anyone else. Nothing could console me besides the return of Will and seeing that green flash on the horizon.

But my infatuation get the better of me. And the constant urging of that voice to go deeper. I looked back at the house and place I had lived in for the past few days on this island, and then back at the horizon. And my mind compelled me to go deeper while my heart begged me not to do what I decided next. And, so, with an angry coutenance and a curiousity of my infatuation, I took in a great breath, my last one, and simply let myself fall and sink down. And within a few minutes I lost all air and rose to the surface.

Dead.

Becuse of this...infatuation.


End file.
